African family knowledge centre

A family tree drawn only as husband, wife and their children leaves many of our children off it, or tells their story wrongly. In many African families the mother is the root of the household: her children may have different fathers, or a father who is not known, and they carry her surname. Many men father children with more than one woman, inside and outside marriage. Children are adopted, fostered, raised by grandmothers, aunts and guardians. Some children have two mothers or two fathers. The tree records each of these as it is: every child belongs on it, nobody is hidden, and nobody is judged.

1. When the mother is the root of the household

• Record each child with their mother. If the father is not known, leave him out: the tree shows "Father not known or not recorded". Never guess a father to fill the space.
• A child who carries the mother's surname keeps it on the tree. When a surname changes later (marriage, adoption, custom), add it under Names over the years, so both names are kept.
• When the mother marries later, record the marriage. Her husband is then the stepfather of her earlier children: the tree shows them hanging from her, on a dotted line from him, and the children of the marriage as their half-brothers and half-sisters.
• The mother's household can have a tree of its own: open her page and choose Start a new tree from here (her and everyone descended from her), or, with her husband, a household tree: his line, her, and all her children, those born before the marriage too. Her own birth family stays in its own tree.

2. When a father has children with several mothers

• Record every child with both parents, when both are known and the family agrees.
• Record each relationship as what it was: married (civil, customary with lobola, or religious), partners, co-parents who never married, or not confirmed yet. One father can have several, and each can end (divorced, separated, ended by death).
• The Houses view shows each mother's children as their own branch under him, so every child is seen, and the children of different mothers are shown as half-brothers and half-sisters.
• A child acknowledged later is added when the family acknowledges them. Where custom marks the acknowledgement (for example inhlawulo, the damages paid in isiZulu custom, or a naming and welcoming ceremony), note it with its date in the person's Life Capsule.

3. Adoption, fostering, guardians and those who raise a child

Each parent on a person's page says how they are a parent: by birth, adopted them, raised them as their own, foster parent, or guardian.

• A child can have both: birth parents and adoptive parents, each recorded and each named for what they are.
• A grandmother or aunt who raised a child as her own is recorded that way, without taking the birth mother off the tree.
• A name taken on adoption goes under Names over the years.

4. Two mothers or two fathers

A couple of two women or two men is recorded like any couple: married or partners. Their child shows both mothers, or both fathers, side by side, and the relation words follow each person. Two mothers or two fathers by birth who are not a couple are flagged for a custodian to look at, in case one is adoptive, a step-parent or a guardian; a married couple of two mothers is never a mistake.

5. Truth, care and privacy

• Leave a parent blank rather than record one who is not agreed. A wrong father on the tree hurts more than a blank.
• Paternity is private. Questions about who a child's father is are settled with the mother and the family, quietly, never in a public note or on the Family Wall.
• Certificates, court orders and adoption papers go in the File cabinet: private to the person and the custodians unless they choose otherwise.
• Anyone on the tree, or their parent or guardian for a child, can ask to see, correct or remove what is held about them (POPIA).
• Never record abuse or harm on the tree. Where a child is at risk, speak to the police, a social worker or Childline (116) first.

6. Why it matters

A child left off the tree loses their place in the family's memory, and their own children lose it after them. A child recorded truthfully, with their mother, their father if known, and everyone who raised them, can find their brothers and sisters, their houses and their elders, whatever the shape of the family they were born into.